someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I have already put on my inside pants.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
