Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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