We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
