At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
