im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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