But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
