i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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