I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
