i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Randomize
