Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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