About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Randomize
