apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
