before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
