:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
