I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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