i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
