they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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