I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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