I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Randomize
