Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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