pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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