one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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