Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
