I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
