is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
