i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
