Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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