You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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