I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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