I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
