Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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