She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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