escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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