No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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