Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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