I'm laying in your front yard are you home
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
