i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
