Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
