i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
