You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
