He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
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