I've blown a few things in my day
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
