i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
