My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
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