and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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