He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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