States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
