The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
