You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Randomize
