We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Randomize
