Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
