I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
